Constipated Lyrics

Jillian was her name She was sweeter than aspartame Her kisses reconfigured my dna And after that I never was the same And I loved her even more Than Marlon Brando loved souffle S...Read Full Lyrics

It's Christmas at ground zero There's music in the air The sleigh bells are ringing and the carolers are singing While the air raid sirens blare It's Christmas at ground zero The ...Read Full Lyrics

When we were young, Bernie's Deli was down the block (Ooh ooh ooh ooh) He made a great liver pate (You know he did, you know he did, you know he did) But if there's one thing in th...Read Full Lyrics

(Two men talking) "Which did you like better, Jedi, or the Empire strikes back?" Empire... Last for me... Empire Had The Better Ending, I Mean Luke Gets His Hand Cut Off, Finds Out...Read Full Lyrics

Hello, this is "Weird Al" Yankovic. You know, some of my favorite memories are those of Christmastime. I still remember when I was a little boy, just waiting for the big day. Mom w...Read Full Lyrics

Cheerios, Apple Jacks, Cheerios Did you know Froot Loops fit in your nose I may be just a simple guy But just the thought of Corn Flakes makes me high Cheerios, Cocoa Puffs, Cheer...Read Full Lyrics

Listen to the Muzak Hearin' people scream Sittin' in the waiting room Readin' crappy magazines With a toothache This is it, pal Root Canal My molars are impacted I'm gettin' gum d...Read Full Lyrics

Don't want to be a Canadian Idiot Don't wanna be some beer swillin' hockey nut And do I look like some frostbitten hose-head? I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed They all li...Read Full Lyrics

TRA-LA-LAA!!! Are you worried 'bout impending doom? Those evil villains got ya filled with gloom? But don't ya fear, there's a hero in the sky, the sky, the sky It's not a ...Read Full Lyrics

I used to think my life was so empty I used to think life was passin' me by Well, I was just about ready To curl up and die But then one day I got a visit From the cable company W...Read Full Lyrics