If You're Not a Professional Actor Lyrics

[Kensington Palace Hotel1st script reading of "200 Motels"January 18, 1971]Howard: It's him, he's watching us!Mark: You think he heard us?Ian: I've been in the band for years, and ...Read Full Lyrics

[Kensington Palace Hotel1st script reading of "200 Motels"January 18, 1971]Mark: It's a good thing we get paid to do this. I could be in L.A., getting reamed, listening to an Elton...Read Full Lyrics

FZ: The Sanzini Brothers!Howard: The Sanzini Brothers!Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight by special request, we're going to repeat a trick that we performed last night. We hope ...Read Full Lyrics

Howard: This fucking guy is flipped out, man! I'll be locked up!?: Who, me . . . ?Yeah, you too!?: It was anti-semitic of me to bring it up?: Why, you don't like Jews, man??: Let m...Read Full Lyrics

Howard: We gotta do two shows tonight?Dick: Yeah, I hope you don't use up your vital . . . statisticsHoward: I'm doomed. Two shows, man . . .Dick: Never two shows important, I mean...Read Full Lyrics

Howard: I think the big problem, Ian, is that it sort of gotta go "HOO-HAA!" as you do it. HOO-WAAARGH!Ian: You're gonna be the king, the spew king, really?: Disintegrated in two s...Read Full Lyrics

Jeff: Let me tell you right now, man, you got your armies, you got your rock bands. You try and turn a rock band into an army, this is what you get...Read Full Lyrics

Howard: Oh, that's really great! Botulism on the hoof!Dick: Don't even look at it, Howard, you're over the deadlineJeff: The new fascist ensemble says that you can't have anything ...Read Full Lyrics

?: Okay, it's, uh, just about time, you guys, what d'you say??: [...]?: Uh . . .?: One??: Rolling??: Rolling . . . Frank is rolling?: Rolling? It's rolling . . . ??: One!?: Test tw...Read Full Lyrics

[includes The Look Of Love (Bacharach/David) and Wives And Lovers (Bacharach/David) as background music]FZ: What's your name?Mr Tickman: I'm Martin TickmanFZ: And what is your posi...Read Full Lyrics