In Which I Finally Admit That I Won World War II Single-Handed Lyrics

First you tell your draft board you're hooked on dope. You don't need the army 'cause you've seen Bob Hope. Walk around the floor kinda nice and loose. Tell 'em your fiancee's name...Read Full Lyrics

This song here is by far the sexiest of all the songs that I've done tonight. I am telling you that as a warning. All those who have a low threshold of sex, you had better leave no...Read Full Lyrics

When I'm in the mood for love, You're in the mood for herring. When I'm in the mood for herring, You're in the mood for love. Love is a fragile thing, Delicate and elusive. Herrin...Read Full Lyrics

Now this next song was a big hit comedy song before I was born, and I took this song and modernized it, I hope. The hero of the song was originally Jewish, and I made him Chinese -...Read Full Lyrics

You made the coat and vest Should fit me the best. You sewed the buttons strong. But Sam, you made the pants too long. Far from the Bronx I flew, Around the world to you, 'Cause t...Read Full Lyrics

If I could play the piano Like I'd like to play the piano, I would sit down at the piano, And I'd play. That's how I'd play the piano night and day. If I could play the banjo Like...Read Full Lyrics