My Kindly Friend the Sensor Lyrics

I am cursed with a strange delusion:I imagine myself to beThe only creature in the world that desiresAnd reproduces sexuallyAnd everybody else is an amoebaA tapeworm, a eunuch or v...Read Full Lyrics

Lord, tell me how long it's going to take me to get famous?Will it take a week in vaudeville, a season in pantomimeTwo years on the West End stage, a decade or maybe more?Because I...Read Full Lyrics

Post morning, pre-mortemI promised the ghost of MeleagerI would marry DeianiraSo I went to Calydon where Oeneus was kingStopping to fight the river god Achelous on the wayI won whe...Read Full Lyrics

The conventions of rap dictate that every MC who takes the micClaims to be the best, fills his set with hypeIt's OTTBut if we imagine a world where every MC really is badder and fr...Read Full Lyrics

Bob Dylan at the height of his fameGot asked the same question again and againIn a forest of microphones'Tell us, Bob, who really is Mr Jones?'Dylan replied: 'He's a pinboy, he als...Read Full Lyrics

I hate your famous gutsI know girls are sitting ducksI know you've got the bucksBut what gets me is you schmucksThink you can hit on any girl in the worldWithout denting your front...Read Full Lyrics

I'm sorry I fucked your best friend, Lucretia BorgiaThough we're frankly surprised you're appalledWe thought you'd be ecstaticTo see us so happyBeing your two closest friends and a...Read Full Lyrics

How to spot an invertAmongst the vertebrates:Good groomingA tidy bedroomNever marriedAnd working in the artsA bitchy sense of humourInordinately colourful scarvesLoose gesturesA wa...Read Full Lyrics

I'd like to thank everyoneI have ever slept withThis award I've wonIs really yoursYou helped with my careerEight or nine a yearTo me you're the real rising British starsI'd like to...Read Full Lyrics

I was created in the fleshpots of ArabyMy mother was the Emperor's secretaryMy father, a notorious libertineEscaped from Sodom and Gomorrah, the cities of the plainYou can read my ...Read Full Lyrics