The Diet Song Lyrics

OK, now, many years ago, I wrote a song called "A Boy Named Sue", And, that was OK and everything except, then I started to think about it, and I thought, It is unfair. I am, I am...Read Full Lyrics

Now you have got to talk to your plants. Now this is a lullaby for people who talk to their plants. Goodnight little house plant asleep on the sill I'll shut the shades so you do...Read Full Lyrics

Never bite a married woman on the thigh 'Cause she just can't rub it off, no matter how she'll try. And when she gets home at night, her man will ask her why Then she'll say it's j...Read Full Lyrics

Everybody says I'm paranoidThey all think I'm crazyThey all smile to my faceBut they'd like to see me die.They put poison in my coffee.They put ground glass in my oatmeal.The put s...Read Full Lyrics

(I'll tell you a story of silly young king Who played with the world at the end of a string But he only loved one single thing and that was just a peanut butter sandwich) Now his ...Read Full Lyrics

There was a group called called Scum of the Earth And they say they got their birth In a basement bar on Greek Street down in Soho. The bass man he smoked grass, And the drummer he...Read Full Lyrics

Oh, they won't let us show it at the beach. No, they won't let us show it at the beach. They think we're gonna grab it if it gets within our reach. And they won't let us show it at...Read Full Lyrics

Someone ate the baby It's rather sad to say Someone ate the baby So she won't be out to play We'll never hear her whiny cry Or have to feel if she is dry We'll never hear her aski...Read Full Lyrics

(Spoken Intro: Speaking of legends and tale tales, there's a big 'un going around 'bout the guy that writes a few songs and grabs his guitar and jumps on a bus and goes to Nashvill...Read Full Lyrics

"This next song is dedicated to all the cop outs in the world. My friends mostly, including me." It was Sat night at the slammer The gavel was falling like a hammer As they dragge...Read Full Lyrics