The Rhinoceros Lyrics

A elephant's life is tedious, laborious and slowI've been an elephant all me life so I blooming well ought to know.He never forgets a name or face ooooh!He knows his way from place...Read Full Lyrics

A Bradypus, or Sloth, am I, I live a life of easeContented not to do or die, But idle as I pleaseI have three toes on either foot, Or half a doz. on bothWith leaves and fruits, and...Read Full Lyrics

'Twas on a Monday morning The Gas-Man came to call; The gas tap wouldn't turn - I wasn't getting gas at all. He tore out all the skirting boards To try and find the main, And I had...Read Full Lyrics

A year ago, last Thursday I was strolling in the zoowhen I met a man who though he knew the lot.He was laying down the law about the habits of BaboonsAnd how many quills a porcupin...Read Full Lyrics

I once had a whim and I had to obey it To buy a French Horn in a second-hand shop; I polished it up and I started to play it In spite of the neighbours who begged me to stop.To sou...Read Full Lyrics

The Jungle was giving a partyA post hibernation ballThe Ballroom was crowded with waltzing Gazelles, Gorillas and Zebras and all.But who is that animal almost in tearsPretending to...Read Full Lyrics

A bold Hippopotamus was standing one dayOn the banks of the cool ShalimarHe gazed at the bottom as it peacefully layBy the light of the evening star.Away on a hilltop, sat combing ...Read Full Lyrics

Consider the Chameleon, he colours himself and his opinions by the company he's in.In Belfast, he's an Orangeman, the shade is quite ephemeral,Directly he moves south, it fades, In...Read Full Lyrics

On the morning after her bridal nightThe lady sea horse boltsLeaving her sea horse groom to hatchSea fillies and sea colts. While her husband tends their sea urchin broodThe Sea Ma...Read Full Lyrics

I have fought a Grizzly Bear, Tracked a Cobra to its lair,Killed a Crocodile who dared to cross my path,But the thing I really dreadWhen I've just got out of bedIs to find that the...Read Full Lyrics