Beat Up Old Jetliner Lyrics

I bet you're wondering how I knewThat Prince Charles and Lady Di were through.Was waiting in line at the grocery store.Took a peek at the dirt about Demi Moore.And it took me by su...Read Full Lyrics

Got a flat in TimbuktuWaiting for AAAAnd I saw that single headlight through the rainFlagged the geezer in the car down,He was going the wrong wayWe sped away and left rubber on al...Read Full Lyrics

When a man loves a chicken He can't keep his mind on nothin' else, He stay in the barn for the good thing he's found. If he is henpecked he can't see it; she can't do no wrong. Roa...Read Full Lyrics

I'm getting fatter all the time.I used to be size 32 and I never gave.My jeans used to fit, I looked cool.Now I'm not the same.Put on a few pounds, my shape's getting round.And lat...Read Full Lyrics

I'm a Weight Watcher,I'm a Weight Watcher,Watchin' food go by.My, my, my.I'm a Weight Watcher,I'm a plate watcher.Here comes a cream pieMmmm, mmm, mmm.I was just a boyWhen I tried ...Read Full Lyrics

He likes to set up colored people.He likes to frame the colored people.Officer Fuhrman driving through BrentwoodAt night with a glove in his bag, his evidence bag.Waits at the Bron...Read Full Lyrics

Lately all the songs I writeAre slow and on the mellow side.I used to stand on MTV,But now they bring a chair for me.Let me get a tube of ointmentLet's rub my achy joints,And turn ...Read Full Lyrics

I was a little too stuffed, had to lose a few pounds,Pants too tight, seams bustin' out.Just had a big burrito with beans and rice,Salsa on top, with some extra spice,Lots of extra...Read Full Lyrics

Wrong foot amputatedWrong foot amputatedHe got the wrong foot amputatedThe doctor had compassion he tried to cure my diseaseI was sweating on the way to the op room gave me sedativ...Read Full Lyrics