Dear Diary 3 Lyrics

Dear Diary Today was a grand day Took a bath, had a spot of tea Did the New York Times crossword puzzle Listened to a symphony I think I'll go for a leisurely drive now See what th...Read Full Lyrics

Lad, it's your duty to find ye a lass With child-bearing hips and a pink, supple ass And make her your wife and love her with love so true Now some rivers run high, some rivers run...Read Full Lyrics

I'm a rich and famous doctor I always knew I'd be An expert in the field of Gynecology Next on my agenda: Checking your pudenda Let me see what I can find If you get your nerve up...Read Full Lyrics

Every time I drink a beer It makes your lazy eye disappear Every time I do a shot I think you're hot, but I know you're not Oh, I'm just trying to drink you pretty...Read Full Lyrics

I kissed you on the cheek goodnight my love I said, You turned to me and smiled "a baby's on the way", And then you drift asleep to dream of life anew, And I lie wondering just wha...Read Full Lyrics

When Grandfather dies, life will be strange When Grandfather dies, my whole life will change When Grandfather dies, I'll scream and I'll yell 'Coz I'll be fucking rich as hell. So...Read Full Lyrics

Wanna have some quality time with my son So I brought him down to the fishin' hole Didn't like the feelin' of that worm in his hand Got mad, threw down his fishin' pole Said, "Tha...Read Full Lyrics

There's a hair on the soap And it's short and it's curly There's a hair on the soap And I don't think it's mine...Read Full Lyrics

[Verse:] I bought a gerbil at the petting zoo If Richard Geere can do it I can too I get undressed, I start to lube I stick the gerbil at the end of the tube Wondering just, How he...Read Full Lyrics

I want to write you a poem That stands the test of all time A couplet, a quatrain, a ballad, a note With meter and rythym and rhyme I want it to speak of your virtue Sing praise t...Read Full Lyrics