Good Old Reliable Jake (Intro) Lyrics

JAKEWho’s the world’s most reliable human beingWho’s the one folks call for help with everythingWho’s the one man you can count on when your life is at stakeIt’s good old...Read Full Lyrics

EVIL LINDA"Look who`s evil now!"SCOTT "Ash! Kill her! She`s fuckin' evil!"EVIL CHERYL "Kill her if you can, lover boy!"ASH"Oh, forgive me Linda. I guess I gotta go what I gotta do"...Read Full Lyrics

SCOTT"Ash, death is a bitch...A stupid bitch..."...Read Full Lyrics

ASH"Now it's time to die, you old hag!"EVIL LINDA"You found me beautiful once."ASH"Honey, you got real ugly."I'm not a killer,I'm an S-Mart employee.And to kill a coworkerIs agains...Read Full Lyrics

EVIL CHERYLI'll get you Ash. I'm like a literal Hulk Hogan. I'll get you brother.ASHShut up.EVIL CHERYLWe're like that Columbia House ten CD's for a penny club. Sooner or later you...Read Full Lyrics

EVIL EDI'm that guy you see in every horror flick.You may not remember me, I come and go too quick.You wouldn't know my name, I hardly ever speak a line.If the hero kills a hundred...Read Full Lyrics

ASH"Listen Baby, I'm not some preppy boy-toy monkey boy you can just push around, see. I killed that guy already."ANNIE"How can you be so heartless, so bad?"ASH"Good...bad...I'm th...Read Full Lyrics

ANNIEAll the men in my life keep getting killed by Candarian DemonsASH"All the men in your life keep getting killed by Candarian Demons."ANNIEFirst there was Ed, a really nice guy....Read Full Lyrics

JAKEGoddamn you woman! You fucking stabbed me!Goddamn you woman! Do I look like a fucking zombie?ANNIEIt was a mistake! What can I do to prove I am sorry?JAKEWell, in the future I'...Read Full Lyrics

ASH"Cheryl, I`m really getting sick of you trying to kill me! You see this?This is my BOOMSTICK! It`s a twelve gauge, double barrel, Brimington. S-Mart's top of the line!You can fi...Read Full Lyrics