Holiday Greetings 1987 Lyrics

Hi, this is "Weird Al" Yankovic. Remember, if you have one or two of those traditional blueberry daiquiris this holiday season, please, let somebody else driveHello, this is "Weird...Read Full Lyrics

It was just the other dayWhen we went to Joe's CafeJust to order up a couple steaks to eatBut we noticed something wrongAll the Worcestershire was goneBut the waitress brought a di...Read Full Lyrics

Some bread, you can get bargain-pricedAnd every loaf you buy begins with a singular sliceBut you know it will go stale againAlways does, its just a question of whenI've lived long ...Read Full Lyrics

Well, I stare at myself in the mirrorWhen I wake up every mornAnd I marvel at how great I've beenSince the day that I was bornI've made so many albumsI've run out of things to name...Read Full Lyrics

[with polka music in the background]HiThis is "weird Al" Yankovic fresh off my Alapalooza World TourWhen I'm not busy signing autographsFighting off mobs of beautiful womenMaking g...Read Full Lyrics

Now, let me tell you 'bout the school cafeteriaIt's got all the others beatIt sells over four million burgers a yearJust think, that's almost two pounds of meatMy ice cream sandwic...Read Full Lyrics

Sometimes you feel like a nutSometimes you don'tPeter Paul Almond Joy's got nutsMounds don't...Read Full Lyrics

You did a really rotten thingAnd let Scout take all the blameYou wrecked his reputationAnd left that poor boy in shameYeah, but now I think it's timeTo show who really did the crim...Read Full Lyrics

Take the L out of liverAnd it's iver...Read Full Lyrics

Cut my life into piecesThis is my last resortSuffocation, no breathingDon't give a %$@& if I cut my arm bleedingThis is my last resort'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mindWish...Read Full Lyrics