How Van Nuys Got Its Name Lyrics

They asked me through the years Why I shed these tears. I of course replied, When you live in Van Nuys Smog gets in your eyes. I thought I played it wise, So I closed my eyes. But...Read Full Lyrics

Oh wait, wait wait, not , wait a minute! Hold it, I just wanna borrow some water. That's not water, that's scotch. It's almost water. You remember 'near beer'? This is 'near water'...Read Full Lyrics

Sorry 'bout that. All you say is "Sorry 'bout that." Yesterday you Broke my watch and Drank my scotch and Used my razor, Burnt my blazer, Incidentally Wrecked my Bentley, Then as I...Read Full Lyrics

This one I wrote this afternoon. That's the truth. I had written the first little part of this, and I sang it two weeks ago Sunday on the Ed Sullivan show, and...the song is called...Read Full Lyrics

I was in World War II. (Hooray!) I don't know what...thank you very much. I was not gonna take credit for the entire victory, folks, but...certainly now that you've recognized the ...Read Full Lyrics

First you tell your draft board you're hooked on dope. You don't need the army 'cause you've seen Bob Hope. Walk around the floor kinda nice and loose. Tell 'em your fiancee's name...Read Full Lyrics

This song here is by far the sexiest of all the songs that I've done tonight. I am telling you that as a warning. All those who have a low threshold of sex, you had better leave no...Read Full Lyrics

When I'm in the mood for love, You're in the mood for herring. When I'm in the mood for herring, You're in the mood for love. Love is a fragile thing, Delicate and elusive. Herrin...Read Full Lyrics

Now this next song was a big hit comedy song before I was born, and I took this song and modernized it, I hope. The hero of the song was originally Jewish, and I made him Chinese -...Read Full Lyrics

You made the coat and vest Should fit me the best. You sewed the buttons strong. But Sam, you made the pants too long. Far from the Bronx I flew, Around the world to you, 'Cause t...Read Full Lyrics