Those Wonderful Sophie Tucker Jokes Lyrics

Nanette"Uh! Here is another lady; She is not as amusing as Sophie, but she has a, she has a little something. I think she's, she has a certain quality of, uh . . . dementia! I call...Read Full Lyrics

When my teeth are rinsed in a glass by my bed,and my hair lies somewhere in a drawer,you know, the world doesn't seem like a very nice place,not a very nice place anymore.But I put...Read Full Lyrics

I was walking down 42nd street one day, I wasn't workin'42nd street I was walkin 42nd street. And this amazing thing happened to me. It was July it was about 89 degrees. It was hot...Read Full Lyrics

Fat as I am.Who wants to see a diva fat as I am?I get mistaken now for Lainie Kazan.How is it that I'm fat as I am?Fat as I am.The camera's gonna add a ton to my can.This is the wa...Read Full Lyrics

I'm singing Broadway and I love it!I'm singing Broadway and I'm proud!You can keep your Springsteen.Shove your Chaka.I really don't care for that kind of kaka.Ethel, Liza, Chita, t...Read Full Lyrics

I will never forget it you know. I was in bed one night with my boyfriend Ernie he began combing his hair there was a great shower of dandruff all about the bed. I said to him "Ern...Read Full Lyrics

Oh, human history is a sordid affair.Often I say to myself,"Oh this is horrible,man's inhumanity to man.It's just awful, it's..."Oh, why bother?Why bother, why bother, why bother?I...Read Full Lyrics

Rose: Have an eggroll, Mr. Goldstone.Have a napkin, have a chopstick, have a chair.Have a spare rib, Mr. Goldstone.Any spare that I can spare I'll be glad to share!Have a dish, hav...Read Full Lyrics

Farmboysextra! Extra!hey, look atThe headlinehistorical newsIs being madeExtra! Extra!they're drawingA red linearound the biggest scoopOf the decadea barrel of charma fabulous thri...Read Full Lyrics

Last night I heard you callingI heard you calling out a nameI did not knowWoke up and tears were fallingYes tears were falling all around"MY BED OF WOE"Here's a situationRight befo...Read Full Lyrics