Craig Lyrics

I got my twelve sided die and I'm ready to roll with a wizard and my goblin crew, My friends are comin over to my moms basement bringin funyuns and the mountain dew, I got a big br...Read Full Lyrics

Dear diary, today was a good day Papa and I picked wild flowers Mama joined and we lay in the sunshine Then we sang and danced for hours I know tomorrow will be even better So the...Read Full Lyrics

Dear diary, today was a great day Bought myself a brand new horse She's strong and fast and so very beautiful And just a little wild of course I know tomorrow I can tame her If I o...Read Full Lyrics

Dear Diary Today was a fine day I got the music in my soul I'm writing songs and making records I feel my life is finally whole I can't wait to tell my father To see what he will s...Read Full Lyrics

Dear Diary Today was a grand day Took a bath, had a spot of tea Did the New York Times crossword puzzle Listened to a symphony I think I'll go for a leisurely drive now See what th...Read Full Lyrics

Lad, it's your duty to find ye a lass With child-bearing hips and a pink, supple ass And make her your wife and love her with love so true Now some rivers run high, some rivers run...Read Full Lyrics

I'm a rich and famous doctor I always knew I'd be An expert in the field of Gynecology Next on my agenda: Checking your pudenda Let me see what I can find If you get your nerve up...Read Full Lyrics

Every time I drink a beer It makes your lazy eye disappear Every time I do a shot I think you're hot, but I know you're not Oh, I'm just trying to drink you pretty...Read Full Lyrics

I kissed you on the cheek goodnight my love I said, You turned to me and smiled "a baby's on the way", And then you drift asleep to dream of life anew, And I lie wondering just wha...Read Full Lyrics

When Grandfather dies, life will be strange When Grandfather dies, my whole life will change When Grandfather dies, I'll scream and I'll yell 'Coz I'll be fucking rich as hell. So...Read Full Lyrics