Give Me a Dollar Lyrics

She pressed the knife lightly against his left testicle and said, "Now do I have your attention?" He yawned and said, "Yes, yes, what is it now..." She said, "Ommina cut off your...Read Full Lyrics

(spoken)Personally, I'm more than a little disillusioned with castration. I've used it numerous times as a literary device, and it seems to have lost its punch. I'm sure it isn't t...Read Full Lyrics

(spoken)What is good to do is to try to get hamsters to crawl into balloons. When you have balloons full of hamsters, you're going to be happy. You tie the balloons to your belt an...Read Full Lyrics

(sung) Hail to the scumbag, the motherfucking president (spoken) Fucking piece of shit. Scumbag asshole fucking retard. Scumbag scumbag, you fucking piece of shit. Little fucking ...Read Full Lyrics

(spoken, by John) My father died in the '80s, but in the '40s he was quite famous. He played in the Negro Leagues. He was the first white man to play in the Negro Leagues. I think ...Read Full Lyrics

(spoken)Okay, and the next one is called "Hammer Thumb."(shouted)Ow! Jesus fuck motherfucking fuck fuck. Son of a fuck bastard. Shit. I hit my fucking fucking thumb with the fuckin...Read Full Lyrics

Okay, so these are called "Pain Series" poems. It's very easy to write a Pain Series poem; all you have to do â?? there's just two rules. The â?? it has to begin and end with t...Read Full Lyrics

(spoken)Okay, and this next one is called "Paper Cut." I-it's not as painful; it's more kinda whiny.(shouted)Ow! Goddamn goddamn goddamn I got a fuck-fucking paper cut! Ow! Ow! I f...Read Full Lyrics

(spoken)A-and this one's called "Cold Pool." I-it's not really painful at all; it's just very uncomfortable.(shouted)Ow! Fucking freezi– you gotta fucking be kidding me! Jesus Go...Read Full Lyrics

(spoken)And this one is called "Stomach Cramps."(shouted)Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Shit! Ow! Ow! Fucking stomach cramps. Ow! Ow! Ow! This is—oh my god. Ow! Ow!(spoken)I'll be okay....Read Full Lyrics