I Am Not American Lyrics

I pulled my groin It's the very best injury Though I'm walking daintily I pulled my groin I pulled my groin When people ask, "It hurts you where?" I say "Put your hand right there"...Read Full Lyrics

I spend my days watching tv with a beer (ooh-ahh, you're fat) This seems to have caused my upper belly to appear (ooh-ahh, you're fat) Then one day, my woman went and left me (she ...Read Full Lyrics

Oh, Johnny was a tall man but his memory was short He'd forget to duck at doorways and often he'd get hurt I took good care of him for he had no family Actually he did, but he forg...Read Full Lyrics

If you haven't heard of me I wouldn't be surprised I bet you know my relatives Their names will never die My mother is a saint And my brother is a god But all I am is Jesus' brothe...Read Full Lyrics

One, two, three, four... Woudn't it be great if everybody had a gun Woudn't it be great if everybody had a gun There'd be no more crime, 'cause everybody'd have a gun! Woudn't it ...Read Full Lyrics

About 6 months ago, someone came by with a petition Said we'd wanna stop these folks moving in next door I refused to sign and told him everyone was welcome 'Cause that's what neig...Read Full Lyrics

You double-clicked my heart You've upgraded my life You booted up my hard drive Please be my cyber-wife You've logged into my soul You've downloaded my dreams Let's go to my chat-r...Read Full Lyrics

Well grab your shoes, and grab your balls And lets head to those heavenly halls Sit on down and grab a beer Because bowling time is pretty near Tortured men forget their pain When ...Read Full Lyrics

I came to town in the heat A lonely man with tired feet Covered heat to toe in perspiration Then you caught me unaware Body so sleek I had to stare And me a man in need of transpor...Read Full Lyrics

I once was a happy man of sound and stable mind Then my neighbour bought a dog He put a ribbon on it's head to make it cute But it still looked like a chihuahua He had me over to w...Read Full Lyrics