Walk The Dog Lyrics

Last year, I was on a twin-engine plane coming from Milwaukee to New York City. Just over La Guardia, one of the engines conked out and we started to drop straight down, flipping o...Read Full Lyrics

I saw an man on the Bowery and he was wearing ancient, greasy clothes and brand-new bright white socks and no shoes.Instead, he was standing on two small pieces of plywood and as h...Read Full Lyrics

When I was in L.A. I went to several services run by an organization called the Universalist World Church. The services were held in a huge auditorium, formerly a used-car showroom...Read Full Lyrics

{It is against the rules and regulations of the New Jersey Turnpike Authority to drive in the wrong direction on the New Jersey Turnpike.It is against the rules and regulations of ...Read Full Lyrics

JOE: In our country, you’re free and so you’re born and so they say, “You’re free,” so happy birthday. And even if you were born to lose--even if you were a complete wrec...Read Full Lyrics

SH SH SH EngliSH... FrenSH... SpaniSH... DeutSH... DutSH... YiddiSH...RusSHian... SHinese... PoliSH... SwediSH...FinniSH... FinniSH... FinniSH......Read Full Lyrics

A while ago, I got a call from the Tesla Institute in Belgrade, long distance. The voice was very faint and it said, “Understand do we that much of your work has been dedicated t...Read Full Lyrics

The detective novel is the only novel truly invented in the twentieth century. In the detective novel, the hero is dead at the very beginning. So you don't have to deal with human ...Read Full Lyrics

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of concerts in French. Unfortunately, I don’t speak French. I memorize it. I mean, my mouth is moving but I don’t understand what I’m saying.I...Read Full Lyrics

During the newspaper strike, the networks asked the writers to read their columns on TV. The writers weren’t actors, they did all the wrong things they squinted into the ... ligh...Read Full Lyrics