Wanking Over a Pornographic Polaroid of an Ex-Girlfriend Who Died Lyrics

Watching TV the other dayI happened to turn on 'Home and Away'I hadn't seen it for ages but what can I say?I noticed some birds whose jugs were OKThen 'Neighbours' came on and the ...Read Full Lyrics

Well, I was seeing this girl, it was going OKBut while shopping in Tescos I noticed one dayShe was having a scratch of her snatchShe looked in discomfort with her itchy old thatchI...Read Full Lyrics

When I came home the other dayMy Mum couldn't look me in the eyeWhen I checked under my bedI found the reason whyMy pile of rhythm magazinesWas nowhere to be seenI found them in th...Read Full Lyrics

I killed someonedeep in the woodsI killed someoneit wasn't the right thing, it wasn't a goodthing to docause I'm lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely nowhe said "maybe I am a monster and...Read Full Lyrics

I'm feeling very poorly, poorly in my bellyBut I promised to attend the fancy dress partyBefore I don my outfit I go and have a big shitWhich is very runny and very, very smellyLIT...Read Full Lyrics

I saw a picture of a naked manWhen all his clothes were offAlthough this might arouse some birdsMy knob stayed on the softYou might like frottage or anal sexWhatever turns you onBu...Read Full Lyrics

I got him from the pet shopThey said he was a guard dogThe only thing that's fierce about himIs his constant hard-onHe gets all excited when I'm giving him a biscuitHe gets a bit o...Read Full Lyrics

Carol's really beautiful and very good at sumsI'd like to put my willy in her nuni or her bumShe always gets the number's right, she's got me into mathsI'll take away her pants and...Read Full Lyrics

A shotgun made it wieldSheep grazing in a fieldThey pointed the gun at his headAnd made him take a sheep to bedThis was quite absurdHe'd never had a birdHis screaming broke the pea...Read Full Lyrics

Just like PhiladelphiaFreedom means a lot to meIn between the place I've beenAnd where I'm goin'I can see AmericaTryin' not to show her ageEven though the winds of changeKeep on bl...Read Full Lyrics