Arthur Askee and Dougie Wougie Bader
Went down to the Animal Farm.
Douglas bored a boar,
With his stories from the war.
And explaimed about the boil on his palm.
Napoleon, very p...Read Full Lyrics
Artist - Half Man Half Biscuit
Our Ted it has to be said
Produces proof beyond us
Rain, shine or gale force nine
His frames remain intact
Helicopters in my garden bringing wind, i beg your pardon
Double glazing ...Read Full Lyrics
Artist - Half Man Half Biscuit
Mention the Lord of the Rings just once more,
And I'll more than likely kill you.
"Moorecock, Moorecock, Michael Moorecock"
You fervently moan.
Is this a wok that you sholve down m...Read Full Lyrics
Artist - Half Man Half Biscuit
[Verse 1]
Ground Control to Monty Don,
The testimonial silver’s gone
The circumstance here’s pretty thin
The sun comes out when I go in.
On the way home from spinning clas...Read Full Lyrics
Artist - Half Man Half Biscuit
One way system, smooth and commendable,
Go by bus, they're highly dependable,
The swings in the park, for the kids, have won awards,
Clean streets acknowledged in The Lords,
But wh...Read Full Lyrics
Artist - Half Man Half Biscuit
They come from underneath the stairs
Into my room but no-one cares
They're on the bus and on the train
They're knocking on my window pane
Oh mother, telephone the nurse
Can'...Read Full Lyrics
Artist - Half Man Half Biscuit
Well I'm not really worried about this,
But can some one please answer me this -
Apart from on commentary, where else on earth
Can you hear the word 'aplomb' being used?
I'm fillin...Read Full Lyrics
Artist - Half Man Half Biscuit
Saint Vitus came to my town
And visited the cemetery.
The dead got up and everything
Became one big cacaphony.
They all went down the social and
They claimed their supplementary.
A...Read Full Lyrics
Artist - Half Man Half Biscuit
[Verse 1]
Geraldine, Geraldine, it’s just a selling plate; nobody cares
Don’t be so self-conscious, what became of the carefree you?
The one who would whistle to Throbbing G...Read Full Lyrics
Artist - Half Man Half Biscuit
Yeah?
Woke up this morning and found myself in bed.
My knowledge of the blues is somewhat nil.
I dreamt about about a love-affair
In far-off B(y)uda-Pest.
The sort of thing ...Read Full Lyrics
Artist - Half Man Half Biscuit